I used to have several jobs. I still do, but almost all of them have been relegated to the backseat because now my main job, the most important one, is to get calories in my body.
And that is a job.
Seems easy enough, right? Just eat.
Well it's not quite that easy. As you know, I can't really put food in my mouth with that whole going to make me throw up thing still going on. Although, let me say a few days ago I did walk in to the kitchen and Rachel had a Costco rotisserie chicken on the island, that Nathan had already devoured the two legs from, and I said I'll take some chicken. And for whatever reason, I could eat a little chicken on that particular day. That's been the extent though. And no, it didn't taste the way it should. So, in general, I still can't really eat food. Instead it's those "cans" of nutrition that I pour down my tube.
Several times a day.
This is the "job" part. It's what I have to do. It needs to be done. And it is annoying.
About every two and a half hours I have to get a can down the tube. Thus, I feel like I'm always pouring these cans into my stomach. "Didn't I just do this?" I ask a lot. And, yes, I did just do it, 2.5 hours ago.
That's not a lot of time between "meals".
It makes it difficult to leave the house because I can't be gone very long. Oh, I guess I could pour a can in out in public, but you know I'm not going to do that. Now I have it down to a routine and changing that routine would be a pain in the ass. Plus, no one wants to see me pour liquid into my tube while we're sitting at the local cafe. Not to mention that because of chemo I'm highly susceptible to catching a disease or something minor.
So forget it. I'm feeding at home.
This will affect my teaching job which starts in about a month. I'm trying to figure out how to handle that situation. A buddy of mine and I have a couple of good ideas. We'll see what plays out over the next couple weeks.
I need these calories. It's what my body uses to repair all this damage that is being done to it from the radiation and chemo. It's working, it's just such a pain in the ass to have to put a can in so often. That's really what I'm complaining about, here: the frequency.
I know it won't last for ever, and it's helping me get stronger every day.
But it is a job.
Not a job I enjoy, but it is what it is. I'll get the job done. I'll just be glad when I no longer have the tube and food hopefully tastes like it's supposed again.
Oh yeah, and I'll be glad when the radiation and chemo have eliminated my body of this cancer that I've been fighting.
Yeah, I'll be glad about that for sure.
Then this entire job will be completely worth all this effort.